Things Happen for a Reason
by moomoolala
Summary: Ashley Davies isn't handling her father's death well. All she has left is her half-sister, her girlfriend, and her best friend ...but will they be able to rescue her before she falls too far from their grasp? Things happen for a reason right?
1. Chapter 1

Things happen for a reason right? Well fuck that statement. Things happen to kick me in the ass and say you're not good enough. I'm not good enough to pass my classes. I'm not good enough to do something with my life. I'm not good enough to quit my habits. I'm not good enough …for her.

I've decided I don't give a shit anymore, I'm going to coast through life on Daddy's trust and wait till I hit rock bottom before finishing the job everyone's so called God can't speed up on his own. Fucking douche, screw him. If people want to worship his crazy cloud talking to ass then fine, but don't try and make me do it.

People probably have the guy all wrong, oh he's a saint. He's probably looking at all those people thinking how fucking stupid they are. Like, bitch I'll cut you if you touch my gates. Or looking at the hot Latina thinking by hitting confession she's good in my book.

Bible didn't say tell me all about fucking your non-best-friend's brother in the backseat of your car then kicking him out saying it wasn't that great. Whatever, she's hot …I'll let you in my gates if you do to me what you did to him. Yeah I was watching. Damn he's a perv.

What the hell is that ringing? Bells …fuck bells. Bells from school. I hate school, but what else is new. I'm not passing my classes, I have no talents, I'm on all kinds of drugs and I think I'm drunk, and according to everyone else I can never keep a girlfriend …I've been in a relationship longer than most of them.

All most of them want to do is change me …obviously it's been working out oh so god damn well. I lay down on a table in the quad …courtyard …thing …whatever it's called. The cheerleaders looked at me, some sympathetic, some disgusted, and some kind of turned on. I was hot, is that a talent? It should be.

My best friend dates a cheerleader. She's cheating on him though…and the best part? He knows. He's been cheating on her too though.

A body just blocked my sun. "Hey Ash."

I kind of laughed quietly to myself. "You sound like I'm dying on my hospital bed."

The body just looked at me and my smile dropped. "Don't lecture me right now."

He sighed and pulled me to sit up. "What is wrong with you? Ashley look at me" I could barely keep my eyes open. They were really heavy, muscle boy here must have tied his weights to them, jackass. "Are you using again?" Seriously what kind of question was that? I used in front of him the other day …was that my muscled up best buddy? I'm pretty sure it was. "You're drunk too. I can smell the alcohol." He really is smart.

"You really are smart Aiden. I don't care what everybody says, you're a smart little boy." All I could do was smile at him. Until a sharp pain him my face and my eyes opened to see a girl not wearing much clothing.

"You didn't call me." She was angry, I could tell. Her rack looked nice though, I could also tell that. Facts. I know facts. She was angry. She had a nice rack. She had a nice ass. I'm sure somewhere she had a nice personality, if it was forced. It's ok though, she makes up for it in looks.

I was confused, so I said what I'd say to my non-existent mother if she cared enough to see me. "Your forehead has wrinkles, think about more botox."

She smiled. I was off the hook. Her smile dropped and I cursed like a sailor in my head, it wasn't a happy smile that just left her face. She was going to slap me again. Pain. There it was, she did it again. "I don't like it rough. I usually only say that in the heat of the moment. So can we stop with the hitting?" I could feel myself sobering up as I spoke.

"We never had sex, and we're over." I was so confused.

"We ...weren't …dating." I have a girlfriend …and that's definitely not her. My girlfriend is beautiful and amazing …and she doesn't slap me. Plus, I refuse to ask out anyone who isn't the love of my life. Who coincidently is watching this fight right now. Aiden knows her, she comes to my house at parties, she's best friends with my sister, she spends the night, and I still can't manage to do anything right in life …anything that would make her proud.

"Whatever." Hot bitch just stormed off. I looked at my best friend who was laughing.

"It's not funny. Psycho bitch doesn't know when to quit. Where did my water bottle go?" He immediately stopped smiling and looked at me.

"It's only a water bottle if there's water in it." He thought he had me on it or something, he's a dumbass.

"Fine. Where's my vodka in a water bottle that no long holds water?" I mumbled a few things as my sister popped up out of nowhere. "Holy shit!" I dropped my bottle and spilled my precious liquid all over the hot concrete. "You need fucking bells or some shit. Crazy ass mother fucker. God damn."

She definitely wasn't smiling. "Could you curse anymore? I swear Ashley Davies." She stopped there. Like that was a sentence.

"You didn't finish that sentence."

She glared at me and I snickered before she flicked me in the forehead. "Shut up Ashley. Well your alcohol is gone for now. Where are your drugs?"

"I don't have any drugs. Drugs are for thugs Kyla. I'm a good kid."

She punched me in the arm. "Alright, thug…give me your stash."

"I don't think your mother would like it if you were doing drugs. I'm keeping them away from you, peer pressure isn't good Ky. We all love you, but …this needs to stop. Think about your future."

"Are you listening to yourself?" Can you listen to yourself? "Don't think too hard Ash you might pop your last brain cell."

I laughed to myself. "I did that yesterday."

She rolled her eyes and my best friend decided to give it a shot. "Seriously Ash. Were you listening to yourself? I don't think your mother or father would appreciate it if you were doing drugs. Peer pressure isn't good and we love you Ash. Think about your damn future."

I sighed. "Mommy dearest is off in Bahamas getting fucked by the captain of the latest cruise ship to end up docked on the island while Daddy is in ash form floating in the wind and being washed down the drain pipes on the strip. Fuck peer pressure I do what I want when I want and don't lie to yourself. You don't love me, and I don't have a future."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2.**

Have you ever woken up to find a stranger in your bedroom? I just did. I poked the breathing yet still lifeless form in my bed. A head rolled my way, at least she was hot. We didn't have sex, I barely even kissed her …I have a girlfriend …remember? I only sleep with her …when she wants to. I thought whispering would be better, you know? It's early in the morning and I'm a courteous person. "Get out." Well beggars can't be choosers right?

"Ass."

I nodded as she was leaving. "Yes, you do have a lovely one." She flipped me off and continued to leave. I just waved and began counting on my fingers. One …two …three …and here it is…

"Who was that?" Kyla can be so annoying.

"Who?" I don't have to play dumb, I am already.

"Who? That girl you idiot. You're so lucky I'm not telling Spencer about that thing spending the night. You know what…never mind. You're not smart are you?" I laughed.

"What does Spencer have to do with who slept over?" Yeah …that's the girl I meant before. When I was thinking about not being good enough. Well I'm not …good enough. She doesn't drink or do drugs and she's a straight A student. She's attracted to the me before my Dad's death, not the current me. Like I care anyway.

"You know very well what she has to do with you dumbass. Are you staying sober today?" She was giving me a pointed look and sometimes I can't deny my baby sister, or …baby-half-sister. Whatever, it's the same damn thing.

"Yes Mommy." I rolled back over pulling the covers over my head and trying to go back to sleep when the covers were so rudely ripped off of my head.

"Get your ass up. We have school." My door slammed and I looked at it. I have a mean sister.

After getting fully dressed in black sweatpants, a white v-neck, flip flops, and some aviators I was ready to leave. I didn't want to wear clothes that made me look hot, even if I still looked hot in sweatpants and a shirt. The point was to show I wasn't trying, which is what I didn't do. Make sense? I got in the passenger seat of my car and Kyla drove as I looked out the window. I sat in at a table in the quad, by myself. I could hear the whispers around me.

"Kick her ass girl." That damn Latina I was talking about earlier, hit confession and all her sins are gone.

"Is she sober?" "For now." A body sat next to mine and looked at it. A small smile came to my face, like every time I saw her.

"Madison said I should kick your ass." I smiled already having though of a pretty good comeback.

"Fuck her. Too late everyone else in the school already did." She giggled a little and lifted my sunglasses to see my eyes. I squinted from the initial impact from the sun. "I don't like the sun." She dropped my glasses back over my eyes and shrugged.

"I don't care." I smiled, I know she does care. "You cheated on me."

Kyla and her big fucking mouth. "I didn't have sex with her."

The body looked at me. "Cheating is cheating Ash."

I nodded. "But you're not going to break-up with me." Now it was her turn to sigh.

"Is that what you're waiting for? Me to break up with you? It's not going to happen." I smiled a little and looked at her.

"Marry me then?" She rolled her eyes and nudged me. "Ok, I'll take that as a maybe."

Her smile grew and it hurt to know I was the reason that smile hadn't been around much lately. "When you quit using."

I looked at her then back at the table. "I'm not using, I'm just…abusing."

"Is there really a difference?" I shrugged honestly not knowing the answer.

"You're coming to my house after school. If you're sober that is. My Mom hates you enough already. We're doing homework." I shook my head in the negative and she gave me a look as if to say 'I dare you to try and tell me no right now,' so I sighed.

"Ok." What else was there to say? I pulled out my Camel 9's and shook the pack before placing a stick between my lips. I didn't light it. Not with her around, she didn't like it. I respected her the most out of anyone in the entire world. She knew I wouldn't light it until she was gone and she smiled a little knowing she was the only person I would do that for, nobody else knew that though. They didn't need to know either.

The bell rang and I looked around as angry and horny teens made their way to class. The person next to me stood up and waited as I looked up at her the sun outlining her perfect face and body. "Class?" I shook my head in the negative and she took the cigarette loosely hanging from my lips and stuck it behind my ear. She gave me a pointed look and sometimes I couldn't deny her either. Truthfully I could never deny her, but when I wasn't myself …I always could. I stood up and she held my hand, it was really the only show of public affection we've ever shown. Indoors by ourselves was different, but in public …it was as if we could be close friends and nothing more. Truthfully …we've been dating for a year now. Doesn't exactly show now does it? Well that's the way we work, if you don't like it …then go to hell …asshole.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3. **I sat in History class thinking about taking the flask out of my backpack and taking just a few sips. It sounded so good right now, but I kept drawing instead. Liquor bottles …to be exact. They were everywhere and it sucked I was sitting next to the ball and chain …for the first time in my life …I didn't want to sit there. I knew I'd get bitched at or ignored or something just as sucky and lame.

"I'm assigning a project today. Look at who you're sitting next to …they will be your partner for this project." We were sitting in rows of like ten and we had an empty desk missing from our row. The boy on _my _girlfriend's right looked at her and smiled …he was an idiot …she was _mine_.

"I guess we're partners Spencer." I looked at him and he immediately got nervous. He raised his hand and the teach looked this way …I hope he falls over and dies …project assigning prick.

"I don't have a partner." The teacher looked at me and Spencer before looking around the classroom.

"You'll be in a group of three, with Spencer and Ashley." The boy's gulp was audible and I smiled knowing he was scared of me …damn straight …I'll beat the mother fucker's ass if need be. Spencer looked at him and smiled …she was too nice.

"You can ask to change if you want to. I won't be offended or anything. Ash doesn't do anything anyway; she'll just sit there and watch …or sleep." He smiled as if her words were reassuring. I know this boy has a crush on my girlfriend.

"I'll stay in your group." She smiled as if she cared, I could tell. He on the other hand …couldn't.

"Do you have a car?" He shook his head no and for the first time I dreaded for her beautiful and perfect face to look in my direction. "You're giving me and him a ride to my house." I leaned forward to look at the kid and his smiled fell off his boyish little face. I sat back in my chair and raised my hand. The teacher looked at me and I didn't say a word.

"Fine, go." I smiled and stood up. I grabbed my stuff and Spencer grabbed my arm not even looking at me, she just kept writing her notes.

"Leave your stuff." I dropped the bag back on the floor. "Put the flask back in your bag." I pulled the shiny little bottle out of my pocket and put it in my bag. "The one on your leg too." I sighed and rolled my eyes before putting it in my bag. I turned around and she snapped her fingers once and held out her hand. I gently set my lighter in her hand and left the classroom now having nothing to do. I didn't bring anything else. After some thinking I went to my locker and found a lock on it. I never put a lock on my locker. "Son of a bitch." I hit my locker and went back into the classroom. I sat down in my seat and stared at the side of Spencer's face. She looked at me and smiled and it made me even angrier that I wasn't angry towards her. She's a mind control genius …everyone loves her. I'm the only one that can _love _her though …you know what I mean? Of course you do.

"Alright the project is due on the 5th." I looked at the teacher and the bell rang. I stood up as fast as I could and made my way to my car as fast as I could, if I didn't have to be here to wait for these slow ass people …then I'd be gone already. My girlfriend, little boy, my sister, and muscle-tron are all catching a ride with the oldest Davies without an alcohol problem. Hey …the first step is admitting you have a problem …I don't have a fucking problem …unlike my bitch of a mother …who is coincidentally calling right now. I flipped the phone open and pushed the speaker button.

"You're not going to say anything? Of course not. I stopped by the house a few minutes ago. I left money in your room and some in Kyla's room. I'll be back when my trip is over. Have fun in school darling! I do hope you're going. Kiss. Kiss. Bye." The phone line went dead …what if I couldn't speak because I was dying and she didn't know it? Well she just caused my death …in a number of ways.

My door opened and some cheerleaders got in. What the fuck? I looked at my sister and girlfriend as they were 'chatting it up' in cheery voices. No one is cheery in my car. The other two idiots got in and we took off. Aiden's house was first. As he got out we bumped fists then he said he'd call me later to discuss Saturday's plans. I honestly couldn't care less about Saturday's 'plans' …we were fucking going to Grey. Oh so exciting …what? Can't you tell? My house was next and Kyla said she'd see me when I got home. I waved and kept driving towards Spencer's house.

"Does she ever talk?" The kid in my backseat asked _my _girlfriend. Jackass. Spencer looked at me and smiled then looked at him.

"She does. She's just being an ass right now. Like usual. She'll talk once we're in my house." I parked in the street and got out looking at the Carlin residence. Home to the devil Paula Carlin, the saint Arthur Carlin, the jock Glen, the goddess Spencer, and the brainiac Clay. Here we go. It sucks SPencer's personal devil is the only one who actually hates me. She'll definitely be home before I leave though. Yay…


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4. **I trudged behind my girlfriend and the little boy. Corey …I think is his name …like it matters. "Mom, Dad. I'm home." I heard footsteps coming from the kitchen …of course. Mr. Carlin would be cooking …happy ass mother fucker. He's always smiling and willing to help everyone with their problems …tried to help me …I declined in a forced polite way …don't get me wrong, I love Mr. C …but he needs to just mind his own business …if I want to fuck his daughter after snorting some cocaine …I can …and I will. Only, Spencer doesn't know I do coke and she decides when we have sex …honestly I don't care …we could go without sex for months and I'd be fine. Ok so that's a lie …I could go weeks though.

"Hey sweetheart, hi Ash, and who might you be?" I waved with a small smile …he reminded me of my Dad …nice, badass, and just all around awesome. Told you he's too nice though, he should have said …who are you and what the fuck are you doing standing that close to my daughter …he also should have added …and with her psycho girlfriend right there …watch out …bitch. You always should add bitch at the end of things like that.

"My name is Colton sir. I'm doing a history project with Spencer and Ashley." Oh, I guess his name isn't Corey …what? I never said his name actually mattered.

"Alright. Are you all going upstairs to work on it or are you staying down here?" I smiled, we'd be going upstairs.

"Upstairs, if that's ok. We'll be good …promise." I smirked, I'm making no such promise. Like I said though …Spencer decides what happens.

"Go on up. I'll make sure your mother knows there are three of you in your room so she doesn't freak out when she gets home. Glen is in his room and Clay is at Chelsea's house for the night." I nodded, that last sentence was directed towards me even though he was looking at Spencer.

"Ok Daddy, we'll be upstairs." She started walking towards the stairs and Corey …Colton …whatever, was following right behind. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him back so I could walk up behind Spencer. He huffed for a second and then followed …Spencer didn't see a thing …and if she did, she sure as hell didn't say anything. She told me once that she likes it when I'm jealous …and she also said it was hot.

We passed two bedroom doors before we got to Spencer's room. When she opened the door I walked in and lay on the bed pulling my sunglasses over my eyes and closing them. Colton sat down on the floor with _my _girlfriend and began working on the project. "I knew I smelled a space cadet." I smiled knowing the deep voice belonged to none other than Glen Carlin.

"What's up jock strap?" He laughed and came to sit next to me. I sat up and took my sunglasses off fully.

"Hey Ash. I thought you were banned from the house?" I smiled remembering when Mrs. Carlin told me I wasn't allowed to come over anymore. That was before my Dad past away. I never listened to that rule …I …snuck in through her window. I tried once when I was high …it didn't work out too well. I thought flying from the tree to the roof would work and soon found it did not.

"I am, but we're doing a project." Colton scoffed so Glen and I looked his way with a glare. He immediately mumbled an apology and went back to working. Spencer had learned to tune me out most of the time so she wasn't even paying attention to me or her brother.

"Cool. I'll let you get to that. We need to talk later …about that thing." I nodded knowing he was talking about …drugs. I was Glen's middle man when it came to getting weed. I got it from a dealer who worked for the main boss and I sell it to other people if I buy too much …but …there's really no such thing as too much. So usually I see if Glen wants some and that's it. I got Aiden some roids freshman year and now he's off them …but the point is …I'm a type of middle man.

"Pick the colors Ash." I looked over at the poster choices and border colors. I pointed at the one I wanted and Spencer grabbed it putting it up on the bed. I pointed to the border colors and she set them to her right. Spencer and Colton began writing things down and doing research while I was lying there watching. The door flew open and the devil herself was standing there glaring at me with all the evil in the world just flowing from her body …the chill vibe in the room was obviously gone now.

"Spencer I thought I told you she was banned from the house." Spencer rolled her eyes and didn't even look up. She didn't care what her mother thought and just didn't really respect her because of the way she treated Spencer and I.

"We're doing a project. Mom this is Colton, he's our partner for the project." Satin bitch smiled at him …she's a fucking witch, I know what's she's thinking. She thinks that she can set him up with her lesbian daughter. Like I said before …bitch.

I looked at Mrs. Carlin and smiled. She sooooo hated me …and she gave me an eye piercing glare as she left the room. We continued working …Spencer and Colton continued working while I took a nap and then it was time for Colton to go home. Spencer looked in my direction. "Can I spend the night at your place?"

I nodded and picked up both my bag and Spencer's bags before exiting the room. We walked downstairs and the all too happy Carlin family greeted us. "Dinner's almost ready." I smelled the air …it was good …I wanted Chinese though. Spencer smiled and whipped out her puppy dog eyes. "What do you want Spencer?"

"Can I spend the night at Kyla's house? She asked me before school was out and I forgot to ask earlier. I want to go so bad, please?" Mr. C smiled and playfully thought about it …too damn nice!

"Sure, honey." She smiled and I waved at the family before leaving the house to put our stuff in the car. I saw Spencer and Colton exit the house. They were talking and I could hear every word.

"So Spencer, I was wondering …uh, if …maybe you'd like to hang out with me sometime …like …see a move or something." Did he really just ask out my girlfriend? When I'm within earshot …well they don't know I can hear them, but still. That little fucker …I'm going to have to kick his ass now. I dropped the bags in my hand and began walking over there with clenched hands. Spencer jumped forward and held me back as I walked towards him ready to punch the little bastard.

"Ashley stop it." I looked down at her with my jaw and hands still clenched tightly. Colton was definitely scared and it was obvious he had no idea why. "Go put the bags in the car. Now." I walked back to the car and began putting our stuff in the trunk before closing it and walking back to Spencer's side and Colton was just making a confused and still scared face. "Uhm …Colton. I forgot you were relatively new to King high."

He nodded. "Yeah, four months. What about it?" He looked like he honestly had no clue she was gay and in a relationship. Jackass. Everyone knows, they just don't acknowledge it really.

"I'm gay, and in a relationship. With Ashley. We've been dating for a little over a year now."

"Oh, of course. Yeah …that would actually explain a lot. That's why you lied about staying at Kyla's house."

I shook my head and spoke directly to him for the first time …ever. "Kyla's my sister. They just don't know that. Spencer doesn't lie." I left and got in my car waiting for them to join me. Colton slid into the back in silence and Spencer got in the front soon after. After dropping him off Spencer kept staring at the side of my face. I didn't acknowledge it until the last stop light before we would turn into my neighborhood to arrive at my house. I looked in her direction.

"When is the old Ash coming back?" I just looked straight ahead and kept driving, until we got to my house and got out of my Porsche and started to head inside.

I looked straight ahead as I spoke. "I don't know." I hadn't changed that much, but to my closest friends …I had changed drastically. I quit music, and picked up coke …they didn't know that yet though, I didn't speak as much as I used to, and I liked being alone more than I used to. Sex decreased too …that was kind of depressing. Oh …and nightmares increased. Which is almost as bad as sex decreasing. "I really don't know."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5. **I sat in my room staring at the wall. Kyla and Spencer were hanging out and I looked at the lockbox poking out from under my dresser. I walked over and opened it up seeing the mostly gone eight ball of coke sitting there. I picked up the bullet and put some of the white power into it, holding it up to my nose I inhaled deeply taking all of it into my nose and letting it enter my system. I did one more bullet and locked it back up sticking it safely under my dresser and opening my window. I pulled out another lockbox that sat inside my nightstand and picked up my brand new pipe that looked like a credit card and popped up the piece at the end and stuck some weed in it and grabbed my favorite Ed Hardy lighter and went to sit on my roof. I took my cigarettes and a small flask with me as well. I began smoking the weed and stopped after finishing off a gram and smoked a couple cigarettes while drinking from the flask. I was gone as I sat watching the cars either speeding extremely fast or moving like a snail. A kite flew by and my eyes widened watching it fly. It was so amazing, and sitting here was too boring for my liking. I slowly crawled back into my window and ran from my room past Kyla's open door and jumped onto the railing sliding down at like a hundred miles an hour …or …that's what it felt like. I continued running outside and got on my trampoline and began jumping as high as I could and doing as many flips and back flips as I could. Spencer and Kyla came outside a couple hours later and I jumped up and down before doing another back flip.

"What are you doing?" I jumped really high and landed on the grass falling to the ground not being able to catch myself quickly enough. I sprang up and shrugged looking at my sister's questioning face.

Spencer walked up to me. "Open your eyes really big." I opened them as big as I could and she looked at Kyla. "She's high."

"I thought you were lazy and hungry when you smoked weed? Not extremely energetic." I shrugged again rocking from my toes to my heels quickly. Spencer put a hand on my arm to stop my movements, but pulled away quickly and felt my forehead.

"You're burning up. Are you feeling ok?" I nodded and tried drastically to control my heavy breathing. Spencer's hand moved from my forehead my chest, right where my heart was. My heart hurt a little from it beating that fast. "You're heart is beating extremely fast. You weren't just smoking weed and drinking a little. What did you take?"

"Nothing." I looked at her and my sister back and forth. Kyla took off running towards the house and it took me a second the react before I was chasing her. She closed the sliding door and locked it before going to every door and window locking them as well. She was going in my room, I knew it.

"Ashley what did you take?" Spencer grabbed my chin and moved my face to look at her. I grabbed her wrist gently and pulled it away from my face.

"Nothing, Spence. I didn't take anything. I just smoked a little …and I was drinking a bit."

"How much?" She sighed. I kind of felt bad, but in the state of mind I was currently in …I didn't really care.

"A gram and half a flask of Jack."

"What about the other stuff?"

"There is no other stuff." Coke. Blow. Crack. Freebase. Ice. Nose candy. Speedball. Stardust. Sugar.

She looked at me for a moment studying me …she'd figure it out just by looking at me …I know it. She knows me too well. She scanned my face, first my eyes …then my mouth …then my nose …then my ears. "Ash." The way she said it was too much, I drew in a sharp breath as I looked at her. Her voice laced with so many emotions …tiredness, sadness, anger, disappointment, and everything in between …all except the ones I wanted her to be …happy, excited, joyous …she was everything but. We stared for a minute before the door opened and Kyla came out of the house carrying three lockboxes in her hand. She dropped them on the ground near us and I winced as she did so. I had valuables in there.

"I found these." Kyla looked at them …they were all locked.

Spencer looked at me again and reached up, I felt her fingers touch my neck and it burned …more than usual. Her touch left a trail of searing hot nothingness. Nothing was there, but I still felt the burn. I didn't move though, her touch always burned …in a good way. The drugs just intensified it.

She grabbed the chain around my neck and pulled it out of my shirt revealing five keys. She unclasped my necklace and held all the keys in her hand. "Which keys go to which boxes Ashley?" I looked at her, then the keys, and then the boxes. I did this a couple more times before reaching for the keys.

Spencer pulled her hand away. "Just point." I pointed the one closest to her thumb and then the first box. Kyla opened it and it held weed. Only weed my pipes and different papers and a couple lighters. She walked to the garage and came back with the smallest barbeque pit we owned, a tiny Old Smokey. I used it to grill hotdogs when I was high on weed only.

She took off the grate and I stood in shock and watched as she dumped the contents of the lock box into the grill drenched it in gasoline and set fire to it. I stood and watched …I felt the sadness of watching what I so desperately needed ...die.

"Next one." I pointed at the key in the middle and pointed to the next box. Kyla opened it and it was just some cigarettes, a couple flasks of alcohol, and some back-up weed. She opened each flask and dumped it all into the pit along with the other things. She lit them on fire and I flinched as some stuff popped.

They looked at me for the last box. I hesitated …the last box didn't contain drugs or alcohol. They missed two boxes …the one under my dresser and the one in my closet. This one was under my bed …everyone knows what kind of stuff goes under the bed. "Ash, either tell us or we'll try all three. It takes two seconds to do it that way."

I looked at the keys and then the last box. I pointed at the key and Kyla took it from Spencer's hand. I stopped Kyla from opening it and took the key from her. "Give me the key Ashley."

I shook my head no and put it in my pocket. "It doesn't have anything in it. Nothing bad."

Kyla gave me a look. "It's the biggest and heaviest one." She reached for the key and I jerked my hand away from her. Spencer reached for the key and I did the same thing.

"Spencer can look inside it, not you." Kyla rolled her eyes.

"Fine. Spence open it, I won't look." Spencer took the key and opened the box only finding old and new pictures of us, notes we've passed in class, pages of music containing the songs I've written about and for Spencer, and the sex tape we made one drunken night when I was the old Ashley.

"Yeah there isn't anything in here that you need to see. It can stay like it is." She closed the box and gave me the key before looking at the keys still sitting in her hand. "Where are the other two boxes Ash?"

I shrugged not wanting to give up any information what-so-ever. Kyla sighed obviously already frustrated and finally tired of treating me like a baby and letting me do what I want. You could see the same thing from Spencer's tired eyes.

Spencer looked at me once again and I just looked right one back. "Either tell me where the last two boxes are …or you never see me again." I thought for a moment deciding if I should call her bluff or if maybe she was serious …honestly I couldn't blame her …she doesn't need me as much as I so desperately need her. I walked towards the house and they didn't know what I was doing and they just watched as I disappeared into the house. I sat in my room as my heart rate began to slow down …Kyla and Spencer walked into the room and just stared at me as I sat on the floor. I didn't know what else to do. I glanced at my closet and Kyla went in there finding a lockbox as big as the one with stuff about Spencer. She tried both keys finally getting it open and she began tearing up as she looked through pictures and letters and videos and everything else that reminded me of our dad. She closed the box and replaced it. Spencer dropped to the floor in front of me and held up the last key. Her voice seemed to barely be above a whisper.

"I know this key goes to a lockbox with some kind of drug we don't know you're doing. I just wish you would tell me instead of me forcing you to."

I closed my eyes and tried to calm my breathing and my rapidly beating heart. Spencer's hand touched my face and I flinched from the warmth, it burned. I felt her lips touch mine and the pressure almost crushed my heart, I felt like I couldn't breathe, the room was spinning, and my lips were on fire. I felt the soft pad of her thumb run across my nostrils as she made a weird face in the kiss. She pulled back and looked at her finger and small amount of white dust on her thumb. I inwardly cringed as she looked back up at me holding the thumb up. "Ashley."

"I'm sorry." She stood up and I figured that was it …she was leaving. BAM! She slammed my door and I flinched.

Her face was a serene anger mixed with disappointment. "Cocaine? You're snorting coke Ashley?" She was speaking barely above a whisper again. "You are so stupid!" She definitely wasn't whispering now. "What is wrong with you? Pull yourself together god damnit! It's been six months!" She dropped back down in front of me with tears rolling down her cheeks. "I want my old Ashley back. Where's the last box Ashley." I took a deep breath and pointed towards my dresser; Kyla pulled out a medium sized lockbox and opened it. She picked up the bags of powder and walked into the bathroom. I tried to move to stop Kyla from doing what I knew she would do, but Spencer stopped my movements. She turned my face to look at her and kept whispering. "Look at me Ash. Ashley." My eyes finally met hers. "No more. No more cocaine, no more weed, no more alcohol, and no more cigarettes." I didn't move, just stared into her eyes. "Promise me …Ash, I want you to promise me."

"I promise."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6. **Spencer and Kyla left my room sometime before I began to crash, or in other words, when my drugs were no longer making me happy …I became a little angry and just sat on my bed not doing anything. I had already ripped my room apart looking for any secret stashes I had, I only found on and it wasn't enough to satisfy my needs. Kyla had the guards at our estate patrolling the area so I couldn't get out. I wouldn't answer when someone spoke to me …so they left. I fell asleep quickly as I usually did when I was crashing. Spencer decided to spend the night in Kyla's room because she didn't want to be near me for awhile. Bitch.

I began dreaming not long after I fell asleep. I was running, running from myself almost. I saw my Dad he was waving and I was being chased. I was so close but as I was just about to touch him he disappeared. I turned around and I felt whatever was chasing me come closer, I ran and ran, but tripped. I rolled over on my back and began crawling away. "Ashley." How did it know my name? "Ashley." I felt a hand on my arm and I ripped my arm away from the figure. "Ash." A hand touched my face and as the figure began to emerge from the shadows I jolted awake.

Spencer was sitting next to me on my bed and as soon as my eyes opened hugged me. "Ash. Are you ok?" I looked around my dark room and tried to control my breathing.

"Yeah. Bad dream." Spencer nodded and I slipped back under the covers and Spencer did the same. She set her head in the crook of my neck and placed a light kiss there. She moved herself a little to be slightly more on top of me than before so the position would be comfortable for the both of us and not just her. My arms wrapped around and her, and I tried so hard for my breathing to go back to normal, but being high for the past five months kind of erased what normal was. Spencer being this close to me didn't help either …drugs weren't the only thing that made my heart beat rapidly.

"What was it about?" I didn't answer hoping she thought I was asleep so I didn't have to answer. "I know you're still awake." Damn.

"I don't know. Something chasing me. It was nothing." She didn't need to be worrying about me. I started to feel bad enough; I don't need her stressing out about something not worth it.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." She sighed softly and pressed another kiss to neck whispering goodnight before drifting to sleep in my arms. I watched her for awhile before falling asleep as well.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7. **I'm currently one week sober, I got into some stuff a week ago so after being sober for a couple days I started using again and trying so hard to hide that I was high, until they caught me snorting coke in my closet. I had no idea they were even home or I wouldn't have done it. I've been pretty depressed, not sleeping. I haven't eaten in two days …Spencer's tried to get me to eat. She's worrying about me too much; I don't think she should be worrying at all. I'm perfectly fine …sort of. Spencer won't sleep with me either, and I'm the kind of person, who just thinks Spencer's company is enough, but she usually starts some kind of heavy make-out session and these days she hasn't.

School's been a bitch. I can't stand half of my teachers, their jackasses. The itching has gotten worse, like …I don't know how to explain it. I guess …like …if a bunch of bugs were crawling all over your arms and you brush them away or scratch the area they're in. That's what it feels like, except they don't go away. It's just itching though …Kyla was worried about it, but it doesn't bother me that much.

I never know what to do with myself anymore. I feel like running away. I hear things, I'm not stupid. They're creating an elaborate plan to help me. I want to change …I do. So I've taken matters into my own hands and invited everyone to the house today to tell them my plan. It's genius really …if only they had thought of it …I'm sure they have though. They'll be mad, but I don't care.

"What's up Ash? Are you feeling bad or something?" Kyla won't stop fussing over me. I moved away from her touch and sat on the stool waiting for Aiden to come back from the bathroom. I had a suitcase sitting against the wall out of view …I didn't want them to find out before I said it.

Aiden sat down and all eyes were on me …it made me uneasy and nervous. Alcohol could fix all that …but I just stared back. My ride would be here soon so I needed to get on with it.

"I feel like life is pointless these days." I paused and I saw the look on Spencer's face. She was confused …I could tell.

"I love you three the most out of everyone in the entire world. Dad too, but he's gone now. And that's when my behavior took a turn for the worst. I realize that. I'm not as stupid as people think."

Kyla was about to speak up but I shook my head. "Let me finish. I want to get better, which is why I'm leaving. You guys deserve to have a stress free life and live it like you should. Graduate, go to college, make new friends, find the loves of your lives, and be happy. Me being here prevents some of those events and I'm removing myself from the situation."

Aiden looked angry, "Killing yourself isn't going to fix anything. You're just going to make it worse." He was going to continue, but I cut him off.

"I'm not going to kill myself. I'm-" The door bell rang and I got off the stool and opened the front door. Everyone followed me as I spoke to the person at the door. I pointed to my suitcase and he grabbed it to put in the car. I looked at the three of them. Looking so hurt. "I've got to go. I won't say where because I don't want visitors. I'll be back eventually. Just go on and live your lives."

Kyla hugged me and whispered that she understood. Aiden was next and he hugged me until I could breathe. I wasn't much for affection. Spencer didn't touch me, just stared. I spoke first. "I love you. I'll always love you. Don't wait for me, I could be awhile."

Tears started rolling slowly. "Stay. We can help you." I shook my head …my friends couldn't help me now. "I have to go. I need it. You're free Spence. You don't need me."

She hugged me and I didn't want to let go. She kissed me and I didn't want it to stop. She told me she loved me and I didn't want that moment to be the last time I ever heard it. I walked to the car door and looked back. "See you soon."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8. **It's been three years. I was better after two, but I stayed for a third because I was scared. This place I'm at, it's safe. I was beaten up, I was coddled, and I was yelled at. I've tested myself …they've tested me …I'm ready physically and mentally. I've had therapy and closure with my father's death. I've realized how much I loved my sister and Aiden and especially Spencer.

I'm one hundred percent ready to be out on my own, but that doesn't make me not scared. I was put out on my own for a little while, they made me re-try every substance and drink every liquid and I sat in wait. The high of the cocaine left my body and I felt disgusted, I never wanted to do it again. They made me smoke weed, I felt terrible. It did nothing for me. I smoked a pack of cigarettes and threw up …never …again. I drank vodka and slammed tequila shots and couldn't make the headache feel better in the morning and realized I didn't like any of it. I hated all of it.

I can actually walk on the strip and not hate myself and everyone around me. I can look at a picture of my mother and not wish for her cruise ship to sink. I can think about Kyla, Aiden, and Spencer and finally understand that what I did was right.

I doubted my decision for a year and it's now been three. I'm ready to see my family again. I'm ready to see everyone. They should be in college now, sophomores. I hacked King High's school website and found out they all ended up attending UCLA. I've been accepted into the university as a junior. In this place, education doesn't wait. You take classes and therapy. I've picked up music again and have learned a ton about computers. Hence my hacking abilities and am going into UCLA's music program. I've got the damaged past of a successful songwriter and am ready to let it out.

I'm standing on campus right now. My apartment is half empty and my heart is racing with anticipation. Classes start in exactly five days, but the campus is buzzing with life. I have Kyla's dorm room number and what hall she's in. I'm shaking.

I found the building and have walked in behind a student with a card permitting their entrance. I'm scared, so scared. Third floor. Second hallway. Fourth door on the right. Room 328 in Stevenson. My hand comes up to the door and I knock. It's loud in the hallway and I wonder to myself if she can hear my knocks.

I wonder to myself if I look different. I'm wearing van's slip-ons …I've always worn vans or flip-flops. My jeans are tight, not skinny jeans though …that's only slightly changed. I don't own skinny jeans any longer. My white v-neck matches my white shoes. A yellow and green bracelet made by a little girl I met a year ago remains tied around my left wrist. A lip ring still sitting in my lip. My hair hasn't changed. Old school 80's shades sit on my head. Those are kind of new. They're yellow and stand out from my tan skin and dark hair. I have a tattoo as well, very visible on my arm.

I didn't notice the door open and the person staring at me. "Can I help you?" I looked up with surprise, this was a boy. Not my sister. "Does Kyla live here?" The guy nodded. "She stepped out for a minute. Come in, she'll be back in a second."

I stepped inside her room and noticed the two beds. The guy stuck his hand out to shake mine, "I'm Chris." I shook it back …I'm friendlier these days. "Ashley." He nodded and looked around. "So how do you know Kyla?"

I laugh a bit and ran my fingers over a picture of Aiden, Kyla, and Spencer on their senior trip. "I'm her sister." He looked at me, shocked. "She never mentioned a sister. I'm Kyla's boyfriend. We've been together for a year now." I nodded acknowledging his comment. "What happened to Aiden?"

"They broke up in high school they said. I don't know much about their relationship. Do you know their friend Spencer?"

I nodded. "We've met."

He smiled, "She's sweet. She lives here too. With Kyla, they're like inseparable. Best friends to the extreme. I still can't believe she never mentioned a sister though."

I nodded. "I'm not someone people would bring up in conversation. I just got back …from a hiatus of sorts. Attending the music program here as a junior as of late. Should be an interesting reunion."

Chris was curious, it was obvious. "How long has it been since you've seen her?"

"Three years."

He nodded, "My mom left when I was in high school. Similar in a way, I guess. She told me her Dad died when she was in high school and her step-mother was absent. Similar in the way of having no one around, but some friends to help you out. …Do you regret leaving?"

I shook my head, "Not for a second."

Silence ensued and the door opened. I stood up straight from my broody looking position leaning against dresser between the two beds. Three girls walked in and two dropped all the bags in their hands. Kyla was the first to speak, "Ash?"

It took a second for her arms to be thrown around my neck. I hugged back just as tight. Tears were in her eyes as she spoke, "Are you back?"

I nodded, not one for crying. "I'm back. Attending UCLA, honors music program." She smiled so wide and then looked at Chris. "Well, um …this is my boyfriend Chris."

"We've met." I looked at the blonde to their left. Spencer looked absolutely beautiful. She was shocked, I could tell. "Hey."

She didn't say anything. Just hugged me. "How have you been?"

Spencer nodded, "Rocky for the first six months. It got better, but …your back?" I nodded. "And you're clean?" I nodded, "For all three years. I could have come back after two; hell I could have some after one …treatment wise. I wasn't ready mentally."

She nodded; the tension between us was obvious. "Are you dating anybody?" She smiled, "How did I know you'd ask? No, I'm not. Still kind of stuck on this girl from high school, you know. I've dated here and there …but I always compare it to what I had back then. It falls apart."

"I'm sorry." And I truly was. "Can we start over? I know we can't just go back to what it was like right before my Dad died. Things were good then, and it all spiraled out of control. But we can rebuild a friendship …and see where that takes us?"

Kyla rolled her eyes looking at her other friend who was very confused. Chris was the most confused and Kyla sighed, "Seriously? You act like that's what's going to happen. Just fucking kiss her already."

I laughed and Spencer smiled before she kissed me. It was like all my fears about coming home and all my past mistakes just dissolved. "It really wouldn't have ended up happening like that anyway. Who are we kidding? I'm still in love with you, none of that's changed."

It'll take awhile for me to fully reconnect with my sister and my friends, but eventually we'll all be able to get back to where we left off.

That's when I realized ...things do happen for a reason. If I wouldn't have gone off the deep end I wouldn't have seen how bad my partying was and if I hadn't gone to rehab then I'd still be messed up …or dead. My mistakes and decisions had made my relationships with all my friends stronger after going through that painful year and a half.

Everything …everything happens for a reason.


End file.
